Pass the Mustard Seed...

The A game!!

2010-02-11T13:28:00.000-08:00

Okay... so Facebook games are cool, but what do you get from them? Nothing! Just the satisfaction of knowing you've wasted another three hours sitting on your butt. Well, that's all about to change! Enter "The A game" - the first Facebook game that rewards players for their efforts with prizes like Wii consoles, iPods, and oh so many other wonderful things. Join the craze by joining the Facebook fan page here! It's launching in March and it's going to be funnnnn!!!

Another Day, Another Shirt!

2009-10-12T18:20:00.001-07:00

Here's another shirt design for Threadless. If you have a second, I'd love for you to take a look at my design and give it a score!

Thanks!

2009-10-04T08:46:00.000-07:00

"It's only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves, in finding themselves."
-Andre Gide

"Get back to that place you were in as a child, when "limitation" was a word grown-ups said."

Threadless T-Shirt Design

2009-09-30T22:33:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Please take a look at and score my t-shirt design for Threadless.com. If you haven't heard of Threadless, you should check it out because it's awesome! It's a place where designers can submit t-shirt designs for critique and scoring. Shirts will go to print from the pool of designs based on the score that the design is given by those who check it out and comments. Please leave some feedback at the link below and take a minute to score my design (I hope you give me a 5!) The design is called "hairphabet' and it's an alphabetical catalog of hairstyles from all walks of life. I hope you like it!! Thanks :-)

Vegetarianism is delicious!

2009-08-19T15:55:00.000-07:00

I've been toying with the idea of becoming a vegetarian for a while now. Over the past two years I have had the pleasure of living with a vegetarian and a vegan - one in a college apartment and one on an RV. I replaced milk with soy milk during my sophomore year of college and cut red meat and pork out of my diet shortly after. Recently I have "become a vegetarian" on a trial basis twice, only to return to my meat eating ways. A few days ago I decided that it's time for me to make the decision to be a vegetarian and stick with it. For moral reasons. For health reasons. There are just too many positive reasons for me to become a vegetarian that right now it's not an option for me to do anything else.

So, in honor of my decision, I set out to bake a vegetarian cookie that would be both delicious and animal friendly. I found an amazing recipe on ChooseVeg.com that I will definitely make again! It was easy to make and the cookies came out GREAT. I didn't have egg replacer, but I found a great video about egg substitutes on YouTube. I opted for the flax seed and water combination for my batch of cookies.

INGREDIENTS:

2-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup Earth Balance*, softened (although Earth Balance is the best, you may use any other non-dairy butter/margarine)
3/4 cup granulated [white] sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Egg Replacer for 2 eggs**
2 cups (12-ounce package) semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup chopped nuts (optional)

*Earth Balance can be found at Whole Foods, Lakeshore Natural Foods, and other natural health food stores.

**ENER-G Egg Replacer is a brand-name powder mixture of vegetable starches that simulates eggs in baking. It can be used in recipes calling for unbeaten eggs, egg whites beaten stiff, and egg yolks. It can be found at Whole Foods as well as natural health food stores.

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Combine flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl.

2. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla in large mixer bowl.

3. Add egg replacer one at a time, beating well after each addition; gradually beat in flour mixture.

4. Stir in chips and nuts.

5. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.

6. Bake in preheated 375-degree oven for 8 to 10 minutes or until golden brown.

7. Let stand for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

If you make them, let me know or if you have any tips on becoming a vegetarian, please let me know!!

2009-07-25T10:45:00.000-07:00

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.”
--Lucille Ball

2009-07-21T18:51:00.000-07:00

"I see my path, but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it."
--Rosalia de Castro

My best friend Sarah and I recently embarked on a pedal to the metal road trip from California to Minnesota. The experience was especially epic because it marked our last big adventure together before she leaves to do year-long missions work in Lithuania. We both agreed that it would be a good way to get sick of one another in order to make the approaching separation easier. We did have our tense moments - the most memorable being a livid "discussion" about where to sleep. I argued the car, she pleaded a hotel. I broke and we settled into an Econolodge at 2am on our second night of the trip. Looking back, I'm glad that I got to shower, but will still argue that the Econolodge's continental breakfast left something to be desired.

Road tripping has become such a big part of my life over the past year. Even so, as I sit in my room back on the East coast reflecting on all of the amazing traveling I have been blessed to do and writing this blog post, I still feel the passion and freedom of the open road surging through my veins and an itch to get out there again and explore. I love having a friend like Sarah to talk travel with. She's going to do amazing things in Lithuania and I can't wait to hear about everything that God is teaching her there.

I'm going to miss that girl...

2009-07-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

"We have a powerful potential in our youth, and we must have the courage to change old ideas and practices so that we may direct their power toward good ends."
--Mary McLeod Bethune

“This is a time for bold measures. This is the country, and you are the generation.”
--Bono

"The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible, and achieve it, generation after generation."
--Pearl S. Buck

$5 Fisheye

2009-07-15T21:12:00.000-07:00

I just spent a week and a half in Minnesota with my best friend, Sarah. My goals while there included relaxing by the lake, reading something other than a magazine or blog, journaling, and spending time with Sarah before she leaves for her next adventure - missions work in Lithuania. An unexpected addition to my list was taking photos. These days, taking photos has become one of my favorite hobbies, so why was the notion of taking photos so unexpected? The answer - because I don't have a camera at the moment. BUT as soon as I realized that Sarah had a digital camera that she was willing to let me use I got to work.

I learned about the fisheye lens from my cousin a few years ago, but always thought that they were a bit too rich for my blood (some of them can be expensive!) so I never invested in one. Then, while en route to Minnesota from California, Sarah and I stopped at an Apple store to get her phone fixed. While she chatted with a nice Australian saleswoman, I started googling whatever was on my mind. "How to make a fisheye lens" came up along with driving directions to the nearest Michael's and some other randrom thoughts. Within seconds I was flooded with page upon page of fisheye instructions. The most economical solution I came across called for a peephole for a door.

Borrowed digital camera + $5 peephole = the photos below.

I like long walks on the beach and learning new things...

2009-06-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

Since graduating from college my mind has become decreasingly academic and increasingly social. Books have been replaced by friends and homework by movie nights and dinners. I must admit, I feel extremely blessed to have the social life that I do, but social gatherings usually require one key element - conversation. At a recent social gathering I found myself having nothing to contribute to a discussion the subject of 2012. I've even noticed that the creative part of my mind that used to sit and ponder thing like the infinite size of space and possibility of life on other planets has settled down since college has come to an ending. All I can do is sit back and ask myself, "What is going on?!" Have I really already started to lose what I no longer use?

In an effort to bring new knowledge into my mind and, on a broader spectrum, better myself, I am embarking on an academic adventure, on an intellectual inquisition, on a wisdom walk, on a comprehension course, on a... you get the idea.

I'm creating a YouTube playlist with videos on different topics that I am interested in learning about... because, hey, you can get an answer to pretty much anything on the Internet.

Here's the link:
Nicole's Informative and Inquisitive Playlist

Let me know if you know of any interesting topics that I should add!

When We Last Left Our Heroes...

2009-04-21T08:51:00.001-07:00

Our days in Austin are far behind us and we have since passed through Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Washington, Oregon, and are now back in our home state of California. We've gone from weather extreme to weather extreme - blizzards in Oklahoma and record breaking heat in San Francisco, faced two breakdowns on the road, and made countless memories (aww...). Here are some pictures from the journey between Texas and California (in no particular order).

I'd Love Your Feedback!

2009-04-01T17:14:00.000-07:00

Hallmark Contest Blog

About two months ago I entered a contest with Hallmark Cards called YourBloopers. About a month ago I found out that I was one of sixty finalists! Hallmark has been announcing finalists for the contest every day on the Hallmark Contest Blog and today they announced my card! Please check it out at the link above and let me know what you think. I would LOVE your feedback on the contest blog and on Pass the Mustard Seed. Thank you!

Oh, Interviews!

2009-03-31T08:59:00.000-07:00

On our team's Indie Trip we had the chance to interview a lot of amazing people, the majority of them musicians. We didn't set out for our trip to be music themed, but with SXSW going on during our time in Austin, it was sort of hard for it not to be. Here are the musicians that we met and interviewed in no particular order. They are all amazing musicians and are worth giving a listen to!

Loney, dear - Emil Svanängen

DJ Jester The Filipino Fist

Headligths

The Deep Vibration

Sonny Legaspi

..and...we didn't get to interview these two artists, but we met them in Marfa and spent time with them in Austin.

Krista Muir

Lederhosen Lucil

SXSW - A Photo Adventure

2009-03-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Mariana's photo blog post about South by Southwest, I have decided to create a photo post of my own about the events of our week in Austin. We spent a week in Austin interviewing bands for our Indie Trip. The experience was amazing (even though our RV had broken down and we spent a good portion of our time in the original Whole Foods because it was easy to walk to and had free internet access). I've learned a lot on this road trip already... one thing being that I am much more passionate about photography than I realized before leaving. So, please enjoy these photos and let me know if you were at SXSW!

Mermaid Kisses,

Nicole

2009-03-28T06:07:00.000-07:00

"We must go beyond textbooks, go out into the bypaths and untrodden depths of the wilderness and travel and explore and tell the world the glories of our journey."
-- John Hope Franklin

What a Long, Strange Journey...

2009-03-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

As with all types of gambling, the best way to walk away a winner is to simply walk away. We were feeling more than lucky after the winning streak we had in Vegas - getting to interview a performer from Cirque du Soliel, seeing The Beatles LOVE for free, and did I mention... seeing Freddie Mercury perform a live show?!

...sort of

With all the winning we had done, we thought it best to leave Vegas behind and head towards Austin, Texas - our next official stop. We drove through the Hoover Dam singing a variation of Sophie B. Hawkins "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover" - "Dam, I Wis I Was Your Hoover".

Approaching the dam:What a damn good dam...

Claire, the Texas native of our group, informed us that there was a necessary and slightly bizarre stop that we should make on our way to Austin called Marfa. Marfa is a little town in western Texas with an unusual history. Marfa was founded in the early 1880's as a railroad water stop and later used as an Army training grounds in the 1940's. The town remained a sleepy destination until Donald Judd, a minimalist artist and visionary (in my opinion) moved to Marfa in 1971 and began to transform the town into a Mecca of the art world. One of the strangest things about Marfa I noticed was it's architecture. Rather than tearing down and rebuilding modern looking museums and galleries, Judd (and now the Chinati Foundation, which has maintained Judd's vision since his death in 1994) took the existing buildings of the town and transformed them internally into art galleries and studios. Store fronts are painted white for the most part, which gives the town an eerie and unassuming aura.

On our way into Marfa we drove along a deserted highway with no streetlights. It was dark out and the surroundings were empty except for one ironic and unusual building - Prada Marfa.Prada Marfa is not a working store front, but it does work as something that will make any passerby think twice about the open roads of Texas. We stopped to take pictures and laugh at the irony of Marfa, Texas before heading on into town.

After arriving and finding a place to park in the main part of town, we set out to find any form of late night activity we could. It seemed as if everything in Marfa closed at sundown, including the town's bars (there are two of them), until we heard music in the distance. In a very scavenger hunt way, we followed the music to a house behind a gas station. We thought that we had stumbled upon a house party and decided to venture inside in hopes of unassumingly entering and joining the fun. To our surprise, there was a table set up just past the front door way where a girl was collecting a cover charge and distributing hand stamps and posters. We had stumbled upon Waltz Across Texas - a concert starring Krista Muir, Lederhosen Lucil, DJ Jester the Filipino Fist, and Joe Jack Talcum of The Dead Milkmen! I have to admit that I didn't know who any of those people were at the time, but I ended up loving the show and we were able to set up an interview with Krista and DJ Jester, who were also heading to Austin, for our Indie Trip during SXSW.

As if the night wasn't already interesting enough, we set out to view the Marfa Lights, the mysterious and unexplained lights seen near U.S. Highway 67. Some attribute the lights to ghosts, others to cars driving on the highway. Whatever they are, we saw them in all their glory and I have to admit, we were all a little freaked out. There is something exciting about seeing something unexplained in person.

The following day we walked around town. We visited Ballroom Marfa, a space for art and culture in Marfa where we saw, of all, a RV installation by Paul Villinski. We ate some delicious pizza at Pizza Foundation and met Lorna Leedy, the owner of Fancy Pony Land - her fun clothing line. We were fortunate enough to set up an interview with her and she told us about her journey from art student to clothing designer. I really like her work and she has inspired me to continue working on my Etsy store. We also met Phoenix, a yoga instructor, while in Fancy Pony Land. He was kind enough to teach us yoga on the roof of our RV at sunset. Shanti, shanti Phoenix.

Shanti, shanti everyone.

Thank You Lady Luck

2009-03-17T13:34:00.001-07:00

After leaving L.A. and it's series of unfortunate events, we couldn't help but wonder if the rest of our road trip would be weighed down by misfortune. We headed to Las Vegas next, the place where Lady Luck either turns a cold shoulder to her courters or embraces them with open arms. I am happy to report that Lady Luck willingly took Ray, Mariana, Claire, and I and offered us a symbolic cup of tea - namely Cirque du Soliel's The Beatles LOVE VIP treatment. I contacted Cirque du Soliel on a whim about booking an interview, not really thinking that anything would come of it... so much so that I didn't tell the rest of the team about it. So, imagine my surprise when I received a phone call the NEXT DAY while perusing a thrift store about booking an interview. Cara, Cirque's publicist, set everything up for us and arranged an interview with one of the performers. We were planning to leave the following morning, but agreed that this awesome opportunity was definitely a worthy enough reason for us to stick around. We met up with Cara at the entrance to LOVE, not sure what to expect, but pumped to talk to Alicia. ...and then she took us backstage...

After the interview Cara was nice enough to offer us tickets to the show! We were SO excited and the experience was absolutely wonderful. If you're ever in Las Vegas, please, please, PLEASE make sure that you see this show... it's beautiful.Am I bragging? Maybe a little... but more so just feeling inspired to share this amazing experience with the World Wide Web.

The Soul of Sin City

2009-03-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

Las Vegas is an elusive place. A quick glance will tell you that it's all glitz and glamour. Having little experience with Las Vegas myself (I spent nine hours there two summers ago on my drive from California to Connecticut and came out on top with a note worthy $9.00 worth of winnings), that was how I saw Las Vegas for a long time. It's only now, after my second trip to the city, that I understand that Las Vegas has a darker side.

The RTN team's mission in Las Vegas was to book a few interesting interviews and to take in the city's colorful nightlife. We did end up with a few interesting interviews (actually, they were pretty incredible) and we did enjoy the nightlife until hours of the night that no one should be awake for, but we also did something we didn't expect - we went away from the main strip during the day. I know that going outside of the main Las Vegas strip doesn't sound like something worth writing about, but the experience was actually very eye opening. Life outside of the strip seemed oddly sad. In a city that millions of people visit a year, one might expect there to be more to Vegas than just one main artery of traffic, but life outside of the strip was pretty empty and sad.

This trip to Vegas also allowed me to do something that I didn't do on my last trip - talk to locals. The first was a harmonica player named James. He moved to Las Vegas a year and a half ago to accept a job promoting gambling at the Bellogio. When the job market crashed, he was left without a job with a family to support. His background is in photojournalism and he does some freelance work in the area whenever he can, but his main stream of income comes from playing harmonica on the Las Vegas strip. He moved from New York to Las Vegas and told Ray (a fellow Roadie) and I that he can't wait to go back to the east coast. He told us that the drug trade in Las Vegas is running rampant and that the city's mayor is corrupt. He also said that Las Vegas is a "soul-less city" that just cares about making money. What a different perspective of Vegas.

Finding The Open Road

2009-03-14T01:11:00.000-07:00

The Roadtrip Nation Spring '09 tour is in full swing! We've left California behind and are on our way to Las Vegas. Our two days in California were scarred by a series of unfortunate events. Things just didn't seem to be going our way and we were all at a loss as to why.

Recent Happenings...

2009-03-04T16:01:00.000-08:00

I'm back in California now - ready to take on the open road!

Grandma

2009-02-24T20:55:00.000-08:00

This past week my grandmother passed away. She was such an amazing, kind, selfless and funny lady. I know that she has touched more lives than I could ever know and that her joyful spirit will live on in my heart forever. Love you Grandma!

What Could Be Better?

2009-02-20T14:44:00.000-08:00

California has been amazing so far. The kindness of the people that I have met so far has blown my expectations out of the water. Most of the "people" that I refer are people that I have met at my new job at Roadtrip Nation. Roadtrip Nation sends people on the road who are interested in exploring the world outside their comfort zone. I had the opportunity to go on an Indie Roadtrip this past October through Roadtrip Nation with my two friends, Lauren and Sarah. We traveled from Connecticut to Missouri, interviewing people who have chosen to follow their own road in life including two writers at Hallmark Cards and Chris Johns - the Editor in Chief of National Geographic (ahem... ahem... name dropping...). I'm a Roadie for Roadtrip and will be doing a campus tour starting in March! I'll be experiencing RV life first hand as we tour from campus to campus. It's going to be AWESOME.

California Dreaming

2009-02-19T18:46:00.000-08:00

I've been dreaming about California for a while now. Warm weather. Fresh, delicous food. The laid back atmosphere. I love it all. So, when the opportunity came up for me to accept a job offer in California, I joyfully accepted. I will be in California for the next two months - taking it all in and savoring every moment.

Icy, Icy Beach

2009-02-18T20:13:00.000-08:00

I recently braved the cold Connecticut weather and went for a walk at my local beach to clear my mind. It had snowed a few days before, so the beach was not just any old beach, but a wintry. ice and snow covered version of the beach - a beach in a snow globe, if you will. The walkway along the water was covered with ice, which presented the interesting challenge of skate-walking.

Here are some pictures from the day:

This leaf got frozen into the walkway!

Footprints of what is probably now a raccoonsicle

Phillip, The Friendly Snowman

2009-02-02T12:17:00.001-08:00

It had been years since I had enjoyed the pleasure of snowman building and I wondered if I still had the skill set to create a snowy friend. My friend Hayley and I set out to test ourselves during the last big snow storm in our town. We were pleased with the outcome: one Mr. Phillip the Friendly Snowman.

Confused

2009-01-23T14:23:00.001-08:00

I've been feeling sort of down lately. Since graduating, I feel like I've done a good amout and variety of things, but whenever I am inbetween activities or jobs I always fall into a solemn state of mind. I still don't know what it is that I want to do with my life (I know, I know... most people don't) and am having a hard time making decisions - it's been more difficult than usual, for those of you who know me. Should I stay at home and work full-time for a while? Should I leave it all behind and do something off the beaten track? I just feel confused. I feel happy when I have things to do and people to see, but sad when I end up staying at home for hours at a time doing nothing. The "real world" has been great so far, but not what I expected. I definitely thought that I would actually be using my major! I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I wish that someone would have warned me that life after college is hard!

Painting

2009-01-22T12:27:00.000-08:00

My parents have always been understanding of my need to express myself - no matter how odd the outcome. One place that has always reflected my desire to be creative is my bedroom. My room has undergone a number or changes (micro-evolutions, if you will ). From blue sponge painted walls and a star speckled ceiling to the likes of Scooby Doo and The Powerpuff Girls watching me sleep, my room has been many different things and served as a mirror to my interests and personality at the time. Now that I'm 23 years old and officially a part of adulthood, I feel like my room should reflect my age. During my freshmen year of college I decided to paint my room six different colors -SIX! I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sure that I would have grown tired of it sooner had I been home more than I was at school, but for the most part my rainbow of a room didn't bother me... until this past summer. I was settling in to life at home and one day decided that I just couldn't take it any longer. All the different colors were making me crazy!

You know how people always say that the state of your bedroom reflects the state or your mind? I was frightened to know what I was thinking about when I decided upon all those colors! After much thought and Google image research, I decided to pick warms colors for my "new" room. In keeping with my somewhat wild sense of design, I decided to cut back from six colors to three - a deep red, a muted orange, and an off-white. I started painting towards the middle of the summer and am just finishing now! It's taken so long because I have been, well, sort of lazy... and working. Now that I am basking in the glow of unemployment/part-time work it seems like the perfect time to finish what I started. Here's to the ever-evolving room reflecting the ever-evolving mind!

Cornering Commitment

2009-01-18T20:21:00.001-08:00

Questions about commitment have been taking up occupancy in my mind for a while now. I'm talking about commitment as a whole - the idea of giving oneself over to some one, some thing, some place, or some way of being.

I enjoy the occasional Starbucks chai latte, especially when I'm in good company. Over the past week or so, I had the privilege of visiting Starbucks with my parents and another time with friends. Why am I telling you all this? I felt it appropriate seeing as the "The Way I See It" quote on the back of my grande cup was the same both times. Oh, and it spoke on committment.

It went:
"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."
-- Anne Morris

Miss Morris has a point. I have been so caught up in uncertainly lately relating to work and what it is exactly that I am doing with my life that I've missed out on the freedom that comes from picking one thing and committing to it. It might sound unlikely, but my recent trip to Disney World served as a reminder of the joy that can come out of commitment. The trip was just an idea until Lou and I committed to it and made it a reality. We had so much fun! Of course, Disney World isn't real life (unless you're Mickey Mouse), but the commitment that was made to the experience was real. This quote has helped me to realize that I don't need to know exactly what it is that I want to do for the rest of my life right now. Instead, I can reflect on the fact that freedom that comes with commitment. I hate being on the fence about things and will admit that I sometimes have a hard time making decisions. I can barely decide what I want for breakfast - and dinner? Forget it! But I am learning that committing to something doesn't mean that there are no other options. Without committing, how will I ever learn what I like or dislike? How would I have ever learned these things if it wasn't for committment? When I become discouraged about committment and feel as if I am riding the fence, it's encouraging to remember all of the committments (however big or small) I have chosen to make in the past. We all have committed to something, even if its been the choice not to commit to anything. But oh! The freedom that must come out of saying no to hesitation and yes to whatever it is that we commit ourselves to!

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." -Proverbs 16:3

Where Dreams Come True

2009-01-17T21:12:00.000-08:00

I love spontaneity... especially when it involves Disney World. My friend Lou and I realized about a week ago that we both had a work-free week ahead of us. Lou's job had cut back his hours and my seasonal job was ending, so the week that followed seemed like an ideal time to do soemthing out of the ordinary. We tossed around the notion of driving up to Canada to see how the other side of North America lives, but opted for a warmer destination - Florida. We did some research and were able to find ways to do it "on the cheap". I've decided that I work well last-minute when I am excited about what I'm working on and that spontaneity is best when shared with someone.

Snow, Come Down!

2009-01-10T20:57:00.000-08:00

"The weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful."

Our Christmas decorations have been put away and our tree has been taken away. Christmas is officially over, but winter has just begun. The removal of our Christmas tree marked the return of fireplace use. The weather is cold, cold, cold, but the fire really is delightful.

Wallet Hide & Seek

2009-01-09T16:12:00.000-08:00

Today began with a missing wallet. I had set my alarm for 8:30am, hoping to turn over a new leaf of getting up before 10am. It turned out that an alarm wasn't necessary to wake me up, a missing wallet would do just as well. I awoke to sounds of rummaging from the other room and the proclamation, "I'm so flabbergasted! I can't find my wallet anywhere!" (Yes, the word flabbergasted actually was used). My dad had lost his wallet somewhere the night before.

A creature of useful habits, my dad usually makes it a point to either empty the content of his pockets on his dresser before going to sleep or leaving everything in the pants that he plans to wear the following day. Of course he would be shocked to find his dresser bare and his pockets empty upon waking up this morning. My first groggy thought was the same as his - someone had silently entered our house during the course of the night, made their way to my parent's bedroom, stolen my father's wallet, and left without taking anything else... perhaps it was an intricate plan to steal his identity! (Both my dad and I have very active imaginations).

My mom kept us grounded by saying that that was very unlikely and that the most logical solution was that he had left it at Starbucks -his last stop the night before. He left the house around 7:30am to inquire about his wallet at Starbucks only to return fifteen minutes later to tell us that Starbucks doesn't open their safe until 8:15am.

I decided to use the remaining thirty minutes to let my subconscious mind speak on the whereabouts of my father's wallet (meaning, I went back to sleep). I slept for about ten minutes before being awoken by a triumphant, "I found it!" My dad had found his wallet! It had been on the floor of his room under some clothes the entire time. We were all relieved and I decided to celebrate by falling peacefully back to sleep.

Dinner and Marley

2009-01-08T21:57:00.000-08:00

Inspired by a link my cousin Jessica sent me to an article about an anonymous photographer who took a Polaroid a day from 1979 to 1997, I have decided to take a photo a day and post it here on Pass the Mustard Seed. Here's the first I call Marley. I went to Sarah's sister Elizabeth's apartment where we ate delicious Asian persuasion food, watched Clifford ("Don't reject me!"), and dressed up Elizabeth's roommate's dog, Marley. Typical rambunctiousness of a 23 year old? Maybe yes... maybe no. Either way, I had fun.

Debriefing the Party

2009-01-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went to a party. I went to one last night too. Last night I had a lot of fun, tonight I was tired. Apples to Apples was played at both affairs. What differed between these two parties were 1.) The group of people I was with 2.) The type of cheese served (one had Colby, the other Cheddar) and 3.) My perspective on what was going on at the party. Maybe it was because I was tired and feeling more contemplative tonight than I did last night. Maybe I'm still tired from ringing in the New Year until 3AM. Maybe it was the tremendous amount of candy I ate at tonight that perked me up enough to put down "In a Coma" ironically in response to the adjective "Peaceful" during Apples to Apples, but then caused me to fall into a deep state of sugar coma myself (the irony continues). Whatever the cause, I was more aware of weight of the conversations that were going on tonight - the same conversations that I might have brushed off as fluff at another time.

I am always conscious of undertones of God in people's conversations. Since becoming a Christian I find that I pick up on them more just like someone might pick up on the number of yellow cars on the road after purchasing one themselves. Tonight I was especially aware of these undertones at the party as a result of my tired, sugar-comaed, contemplative state. One thing that someone said that especially got me thinking was said by one girl to another in response to the comment "You're all about Jesus though" (not much of an undertone... I know). This girl said it to the other girl jokingly, and the other girl replied with, "No, I'm really not all about Jesus". Anyway, I tell you all this because this girls comment raised a lot of questions in my mind.

First, it got me thinking about all of the times that I have said similar things - maybe not in so many words, but I have brushed off "religious conversations" because I don't want to come off as being well, religious. Then I started thinking about how many other Christians in the world must do the same thing and I began to wonder why. Then it started to hit me - I know what I believe and what I try to stand for - what Jesus stands for - but I deny it often. I don't want to come off as being too religious or committed to my faith, but why!? I have to ask myself who wouldn't want to stand for the things that Jesus stood for. Things like loving your neighbor and forgiving no matter what or feeding the hungry. In my train of thought questions and answers I could not understand why I had pretended not to care about the one thing that matters most to me in my life so many times before. Why I had said not in so many words, "No, I'm really not all about Jesus." There had to be a reason. I think I am starting to understand it.

It's not so much that I don't want to admit that I stand for all of the things that Jesus does, but rather that I don't want to stand for all of the things that people who say that they stand for all of the things Jesus does stand for (Did you follow that? I almost didn't...).

It's more that I don't want people to think that I agree with these ladies:
Or that I own this pin:

What I'm trying to say is that I'm really not all about what people have declared Jesus to be and I don't want people to think otherwise. The real trouble is that unfortunately more bad representations of Jesus get media attention than good. All of the "good stuff" that people are doing in the name of Christ can sometimes barely be heard over the noise of the "bad stuff". So what is the sure sign of a Christian?

The answer: LOVE.

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." -John 13:35

Tonight's party was fun. It challenged my Apples to Apples skills as well as my faith. It has become my personal challenge to love like Jesus loved and to live like Jesus lived so that in the future people will know Christians by their love rather than all of the noise that can get in the way.

On God and Playgrounds

2008-11-18T23:19:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's the fact that I didn't wake up until 11am this morning. Maybe it has something to do with the continual tossing of thoughts in my mind. Whatever the reason may be, I can't sleep. I have decided to use my alertness productively to write this post about something that I was reminded of recently.

About a week ago, I was babysitting for a little boy who doesn't have much to say. Why? Most likely because he's not even one and half yet. Regardless of his conversational skills, this little boy reminded me of something that I want to write about here. Something that God has reminded me of time and time again in subtle ways, like the actions of a one and half year old.

I decided to take this little boy to the playground. When we got there we did the usual playground circuit: slide - ducky spring - slide - zebra spring - swing - slide. That was until a ball came into the picture. A couple of kids showed up with a basketball and the little boy I was watching seemed adamant about getting his hands on it. I explained that it wasn't his in the way that adults often do to small children who they imagine to be old enough to understand and do things like vote or buy lotto tickets. All that he did was look at me perplexed and continued on his ball quest. Then it dawned on me. His mother had packed a small ball in his stroller that sat right outside the fence of the confines of the playground. This was when things got tricky.

I told the boy that there was a ball in his stroller and that all we had to do was leave the playground for a moment to go get it before returning to play. He didn't understand so I picked him up and started to walk towards the fence gate that would take us out of the playground. He really didn't understand. He started to yell and pull away from me. He thought that I was taking him away from the playground forever! It wasn't until we reached the stroller and I showed him the ball that was in it that he started to relax a little. I handed him the ball and we walked back inside the playground where he happily played until lunch time.

Why do I tell you all this? Partially to make you reminiscent of the joys of the playground (I have been feeling nostalgic lately after all...), but more so to reveal a truth that God has been showing me - that what I may see as best for me may only pale in comparison to what God has in store. '"For I know the plans I have for you," declared the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). How often I forget this! I make my plans and do my best to keep my plans. I strategize the best possible way to get what I want, all the while paying little attention to what God wants.

Seeing that little boy react so negatively to being taken away from the playground to get a ball - the thing that he really wanted all along - was eye opening for me. He didn't understand. I tried to explain it to him, but my foresight was just bigger than his. I could imagine him happily playing with the ball the way that he eventually did, even as we walked away from it's gates and he began to yell. I could things that he couldn't. I had a plan that would bring him what he wanted, but he only saw it as me taking everything that was fun away from him. I have to wonder how often this same struggle takes place between God and myself. More often than not, I am certain.

This reminder is especially significant to me at this moment in my life. I am laying in the lap of uncertainty. Uncertainty about work. Uncertainty about relationships. But God has reminded me through this little boy that I can be certain about one thing - really the only thing that matters. I can be certain about God. When everything else is hectic and foggy, God remains clear. His love and willingness to listen and help are endless in capacity. No matter the circumstance, God is ready for action!

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." -Psalm 32:8

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9

The Thing About Unemployment...

2008-11-17T15:09:00.000-08:00

Today marks the beginning of my third official week of unemployment. I say "official" because I am not including the nine-day road trip that the What Now Wanderers went on. At first, unemployment seemed heaven sent. Prior to finishing my internship, sleeping past 8am seemed like a luxury. Now I find myself groggily waking later and later every day and I can't help but wonder if I am wasting my life away.

I have been filling in my free time in a variety of ways that usually require me to fork out money or clap a lot. Allow me to give an example. In the past two weeks I have attended two show tapings: The Rachael Ray Show and The MTVU Woodie Awards. Both tapings were free (sans train ticket) and a lot of fun! I have found that the best way to get a biceps/triceps workout in a short period of time is being a member of a studio audience. Failing to clap could cause for immediate ejection from the set via mechanical launching seat or, more likely, the warm up guy to calling you out for it. I have been going to show tapings for over a year now. I guess that you could call it "my thing" and although it's fun, I don't want it to be "my thing" forever. I would much rather have "my thing" be something noble or selfless than getting free tickets to shows in hopes of getting free stuff and being overcome by a case of star struck-itis.

When I am not sitting in on live television tapings, I can be found glaze-eyed in front of my computer searching for jobs on Craig's List, Indeed.com, and anywhere else that looks promising. I have to say that I really dislike online job searching. I like it even less when I do it every day. In an effort to spend more time online, I have been babysitting whenever I can, visiting with friends, and doing odd jobs. My last odd job was working at the polls. My next? Handing out cupcakes for a new local bakery at a nearby Thanksgiving parade. The odd jobs are fun and interesting, but I am ready for something more concrete that I can plan to do on a regular basis. Here are some of the ideas that keep me up at night:

1.) Service Trip
I have been wanting to go on a service trip for a while now. It seems like the perfect time to go - no work, some money from my internship just sitting in my bank account (I know... I know... I should save it up for something pretty like an apartment or use it to pay my college loans, but I have a serious case of wanderlust!), and nothing really holding me back.

2.) (Another) Road Trip
Maybe to visit my cousin in Texas? Maybe somewhere else?

3.) Seasonal Work
I have applied to a number of seasonal jobs over the past two weeks or so and am waiting to hear back from them. If I don't hear back by the end of the week I am going to apply for a job as a UPS Driver Helper. I would help deliver packages and get a snazzy brown suit to wear...

4.) Volunteer
What better way to use your time than to use it selflessly? I have been looking into volunteering locally and have a volunteer opportunity coming up this weekend that I'm really excited for. It should be a lot of fun!

5.) Retreat Into a State of Despair
This is depressing, but I can feel myself doing this on days when I have nothing else to do. I try to stay positive and usually have a sunshiny disposition, but having friends at work and no job to go to during the day can make me feel sad. I so want to be doing something that I love and something that I feel is meaningful, but not knowing what that something is or how to go about doing it is hard. The RTN road trip really opened my eyes to the fact that it is possible to do what you love for a living and that there are ways to get to the point of doing so, but I don't know what I love to do, so I feel sort of stuck. I have found that my best coping mechanisms are talking to friends about their situation and realizing that I am no alone in how I feel, praying about what it is that I should be doing and trusting that God knows what He's doing, and exploring my options. That's really what my Year of Yes. blog is about. Trying things that interest me in hopes of finding what I am truly passionate about.

*NOTE: If you happen to see that I seem a bit gloomy on any given day, would you mind just reminding me that something much bigger than me is in the works? Thanks.

I Can't Just Keep This To Myself!

2008-11-08T11:58:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling a bit nostalgic these past days... I guess talking about my favorite childhood movies sparked something in me. Last night I saw a few friends that I went to elementary school with and I (of course) had to bring up memories of childhood, which got us talking about the toys, games, and fads that we children of the 90's embraced and loved so dearly. My friends from elementary school and I got to talking about the games that we would play during our "Media Center" visits. I can remember sitting down as a class to clunky old Mac computers to play education and fun (I remember them being mostly fun...) games like Oregon Trail. I decided to try to find the online versions of a few of my favorite games from Media Center time and I was happily successful! Do you remember Number Munchers? Not everyone does, but those who are familiar with the game will definitely want to spend time playing online here:

Number Munchers

Got a hankering for 7 lbs. of bacon? Miss risking life and limb by crossing a treacherous and partially frozen lake? Wish that you could spend countless virtual months with celebrities like J.T.T. and Devon Sawa only to lose one or both of them to Small Pox? Play Oregon Trail here:

Oregon Trail

VHS Nostalgia

2008-11-06T19:23:00.000-08:00

Last night I spent some time with Lauren and Sarah. We decided that since a whole week had passed since getting home from our trip, it was about time for a What Now Wanderers reunion of sorts. While we were reuniting, Sarah taught Lauren to knit while I browsed Craig's List for jobs (the search is officially on). Lauren took a break from knitting to answer a phone call from her boyfriend Brent. He called to tell her that he saw an opossum (for those who have seen "Teen Girl Squad" on Homestar Runner, this is especially funny). When Lauren got off the phone she told us a great story about how growing up, she always related opossums to bayous and bayous to opossums. The relation is strange enough as is, but what made it even more bizarre was that the opossum Lauren related to bayous was adorned with a straw hat and played the banjo. She could never remember why she had this connection until she met Brent and asked him what he thought of when he pictured bayous (strange I know) so she could explain this odd relationship that she had lived with for so long without explanation. To Lauren and Brent's surprise, Brent said that he also pictured an opossum wearing a straw hat playing a banjo! They are definitely soul mates! It turned out that the opossum with the straw hat and banjo was Banjo the Wood Pile Opossum from Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Summer Vacation! Why am I so excited? Allow me to explain..

Everyone has their favorite childhood movie or movies. Many will reference Mary Poppins or Cinderella, but though these are movies that I cherish and grew up enjoying, they were not the films that I begged my parents to allow me to watch over and over again.

When I came to college, there were so many new people to meet and so many topics of conversation to cover that conversation rarely dwindled. Every new person that I met had so many interesting insights to share and stories to tell that I can't help but laugh when I recall the topic of conversation that always came up - ALWAYS. The topic? Childhood movies and television shows. The topic came up so often that I eventually had the answers to, "What was your favorite Nicktoon?" and, "What Disney villain scared you the most growing up?" ready to deliver in a heartbeat.

Maybe it was the return to napping or the cookie breaks in college that made the topic of childhood entertainment so intriguing. Maybe it was the realization that college marked the entry into adulthood and, consequently, the final days of childhood that made revisiting the past so common. Whatever the reason, conversations revolving around things that were popular in childhood were inevitable. Even more so, they were a common ground for any group of people to discuss and the foundation for (I have to admit) a handful of the friendships I made during my time at college.

So, what are the movies that landmark my childhood? The movies that I could watch over and over again and never tire of? The films that I own on VHS and still occasionally pop into the VCR to watch when I am feeling nostalgic or too grown up for my own good? Here's the list with clips from my favorite part of each film. I'm only going to give the animated ones for now because the list would be much too long for one blog post if I included live-action too!

1.) Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Summer Vacation

2.) The Chipmunk Adventure

3.) A Goofy Movie

4.) Tiny Toons: Music Television

because I couldn't pick just one favorite music video...

5.) Anastasia

6.) Aladdin

7.) The Little Mermaid

Everyone's Doing It... Even Mary Tyler Moore

2008-11-04T18:20:00.000-08:00

Today I fulfilled my civic duty of voting. Since I have been letting unemployment get the best of me (I have been unemployed for going on three weeks now and have watched more television in that time than I think I ever did over the course of my college education), I decided to pick myself up by the bootstraps and get as many "one shot" jobs as possible. So far I have been a pumpkin carver, a babysit and, after today, an election poll worker.

With my dad's encouragement, I signed up to work as an aisle attendant at my high school alma mater. I worked alongside my father and my friend Hayley. Hayley and I got to show off the latest election fashion - bright green vests that designated us as aisle attendants from all of the poll workers. I must admit, that vest made me feel powerful.

It was exciting to see masses of local citizens come out to give their say on who they think should be running this country. Hayley and I ran into a few former teachers of ours and made a slew of new friends (most of them cute elderly ladies) who were also working at the polls. Though everyone I got to meet was interesting, there was one person who came to vote that stood out from the rest - none other than Ms. Mary Tyler Moore. When I first saw her walk in I thought that I recognized her, but brushed it off as a resemblance. Then she turned and I got a good look at her face. It WAS her! Thought after thought raced through my mind as I watched her tell one of the workers her address. Things like, "I grew up watching The Mary Tyler Moore Show!", "Is this really happening?!", "I just saw her on Oprah!", and "Who can turn the world on with her smile...?" I had no idea that she lived in my town and there she was, someone I had only seen through the glowing picture of my T.V. there breathing the same air as me!

I feel like my last paragraph deserves a disclaimer or note or something of the like. I definitely believe that people are just people, but I will admit that I have a somewhat serious issue with getting starstruck. Today was no exception. I looked at her. Looked away. Looked at her again. Stared at her. Looked away. Stared again. Looked at Hayley who was looking at something other than Mary. Looked at Mary again. Looked at Hayley who was now looking at me looking at Mary. Mouthed "IT'S MARY TYLER MOOOOOORE" in a very exaggerated way. Did my best to play it cool as Hayley asked me what it was that I had just mouthed in a very exaggerated way. Mouthed "IT'S MAAAARRRRRYY TTTYYYLLLLEERRR MOOORREE" again in an even more very exaggerated way while pointing in Mary's direction behind a folder. Got frustrated that Hayley could no understand my over exaggerated mouthing skills (probably because it looked more like a lion roaring than what I was trying to say). Finally gave up on mouthing what I wanted to say and shuffled over to Hayley to whisper it only to have her say, "I don't know what she looks like".

All in all, it was a very memorable and historic day for obvious political reasons as well as personal Mary Tyler Moore reasons. I am so happy that I got to play a part in the history of today by working through my unemployment as an aisle assistant.

Home Again, Home Again... Jiggity Jig...

2008-11-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

I know, it's been a while. I do have a good excuse though. I just got back from a half cross-country road trip to the mid-west and back. I traveled on a grant from PBS' Roadtrip Nation with two of my good friends, Lauren and Sarah. Along the way we interviewed people who are passionate about what they do and who have fulfilled the Roadtrip Nation slogan by "defining their own road in life". The entire experience was incredible. The place we got to see, the people we got to meet, and the discussions we had on the road are priceless. Having done the gross part of my road tripping experience in the past four years, I can say assuredly that the road has a unique way of opening my mind and spirit to new possibilities.

Along the way, Sarah, Lauren and I met so many interesting people. It amazes me how willing people can be to give their advice. I would have never thought a few months ago that I would be able to say that I stepped foot in to the office of the Editor-in-Chief of National Geographic or that I got spend time in Hallmark Card's humor department. I loved being in the places that I have dreamt about and meeting the people who have made similar dreams their reality.

When I returned home the night before last I was still in the road trip mentality. I was happy to be home where I could relax and process my trip away from highways and pit stops. I was also sad that all of the work put into planning and executing the trip had come to an end. I absolutely loved everything about the road trip. Every aspect of it thrilled me and brought me to that level of consciousness that comes with new and exciting experiences. Today is my second day home after the trip. Yesterday I was adjusting to not waking up in a hotel room and enjoying being able to bask in the thrill of my recent venture. I still feel that way today, but to a lesser degree. I can already feel myself slipping back to my habitual lifestyle. Today it has finally hit me that the road trip had served as a book mark of sorts. I imagined my return marking the beginning of a new chapter. I hadn't really considered the difficulty of a job search before and during the trip, but now I am faced again with the crushing weight of college loans and bills.

I started a new blog called "Year of Yes" on which I am documenting my journey (almost) day-by-day towards discovering my life's passion. I know that I have it in me. I know that God has put it there. There is something that we can all do in a way that no one else can. This trip has served as a reminder that we are not only denying ourselves, but the world as well, when we deny what we are passionate about. I have been trying new things and challenging myself to step out in different situations that may scare me. I'm hoping that doing so will help to melt away all the "junk" (the lies, the criticism, the shut downs) that I have listened to and believed for far too long and leave me as a refined piece of passionate gold.

I can't deny how passionate I felt about this trip. Like I said earlier, every aspect of it thrilled me in a way that I want to feel again. I have to, no..., I need to feel that way again. I want to learn and see and feel. I want to explore and teach and express. I want to have passion and be passionate. I hope to get there soon.

Music To My Ears...

2008-10-08T22:06:00.000-07:00

Sarah was kind enough to give me a CD of a new artist named JJ Heller this past weekend. I have been listening to her music non-stop since getting the CD... in the car, at work, in my head... She's got a great style and wonderful lyrics. Check out her website where you can download her free CD until November 1st!

New Blog!

2008-10-06T17:44:00.000-07:00

I'm embarking on a new adventure and may not be writing on Pass the Mustard Seed as often as I normally would (normally being with Lauren's encouragement...otherwise I tend to blog quite infrequently). It's called Year of Yes and I will be saying "yes" for a year to all of the things that I have been wanting to do, but have put off up until now.

Gmail Makes Me Feel Powerful

2008-09-26T13:41:00.000-07:00

I recently got a Gmail in anticipation of my college e-mail account retiring into oblivion. I must say, I am more than satisfied with my new e-mail account. Not only can I easily send and receive mail, but I can also talk on Gchat from the confines of my e-mail account. I also really appreciate the recipe card-like storing of e-mails between two people. All of these things are wonderful and make my experience in the e-mail realm all the more enjoyable, but the one less obvious thing that I adore about Gmail is the way that it sort of makes me feel like a super hero. Laugh if you must, but check out these features that Gmail has. I believe that they can bring out the super hero in anyone who chooses to use them.

I have invisibility powers on Gmail. Amazing!

Where else, other than Gmail, would I be able to delete something forever?

Catland!

2008-09-24T20:35:00.000-07:00

This video is simply wonderful.

Twentysomething Angst

2008-09-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

Free Association:

I have been having feelings that lately that I can best be described as "angst". This "agnst" I feel is different than the kind that heavy metal-listening, "hate the world" teenagers have... I'm done with that stage (actually, I'm not sure that I even had it... maybe that's why I'm experiencing angst as a twentysomething). This "angst" is a deep, unsettling feeling. It's a hovering presence that keeps reminding me that time is precious and not to be wasted. For whatever reason I didn't feel like I do now while I was in college, though I did have my fair share of feelings during that time of my life (I threatened to transfer colleges about once every other week during the first three years of school). I think it has to do with feeling purposeful. While I was in school I knew that I had to go to class and do my homework in order to get a grade at the end of the semester. That grade compiled with other grades to make up my GPA (I definitely almost wrote GPS) and my GPA for the sememester combined with my other semesters' GPAs to determine if I could graduate.

Once college was over, the sense of purpose that I had had for four years, and even prior as I worked my way towards the goal of college, was complete. At first I felt relieved to be done with school and homework and lugging boxes upon boxes back and forth from college to home, but I soon started to feel nostalgic for my college days of yore. I got especially saddened when I saw everyone else going back to school for another year of purposeful school work. Now I again feel relieved that homework is no longer a part of my day-to-day activities, but I have found that I still do miss that feeling of purpose that I had during college and throughout my entire academic career. I feel as if I'm in some sort of limbo, waiting for the next cycle to begin because, quite frankly, that's all I have really known for twenty-two years. School has been my main existence and now that I am done with it, I feel a little disenchanted. What were all those years for really? To prepare me for my life now, as a graduate?! I don't exactly feel prepared. This great shift in purpose (though I still have my higher purpose in life) has been difficult to deal with.

College graduates generally have so much ambition and gusto, but lack the means to make dreams a reality. This is especially true as we are bogged down with college loans that need repaying only months after getting our feet wet in "the real world". If this is the real world, what world was I living in for all the years leading up to this? I still have the passion that I did when graduation was fresher in my mind (it was only four months ago), but I am already feeling expectations bogging down on me. I have to have a job because I have to pay back loans. I know that, but I just think that it's sad that so many people in my situation are working simply for the sake of working. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the place that I am working very much. The people are wonderful and the work is usually fun, but I can't help but feel trapped by these things that I "have" to do.

Who ever said that the way that our society lives is the way that we all have to live? I think that many of the things that are expected of us in this society have been passed by and, often times, unexamined. I just want to grab America by the shoulders, shake it, look it in the eyes and say, "Wake up! There is more to life!" I hate that so much of what I am currently doing is motivated by money and the "need" for it. Yes, I need to pay off loans and meet my basic needs (though my parents are kind enough to still be feeding me... delicious food, might I add... and giving me shelter), but other than that, what is it that I need money for? Why not pay off my loans, move to a farm, and live out my life there inviting people over who need a place to stay for the night?

I watched Before Sunrise tonight. The movie is the story of two twentysomethings who meet on a train in Europe and end up staying up all night enjoying one another's company and talking about things that really matter. The movie reminded me of Iron and Wine's song "Such Great Heights" (I like the cover by the Postal Service). The chorus goes as follows:

They will see us waving from such great heights
"Come down now", they'll say.
But everything looks perfect from far away
"Come down now", but we'll stay.

I often find that a good conversation can give me a natural high. I was fortunate enough to have a number of really great conversations during my life and they always leave me feeling this way. Why not stay on this level always? Weren't we created to communicate? To love and be loved? To learn? Anyway, I'm ranting on and on in free association-style. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope that you can relate to some or all of what I'm saying.

Cookie Starts With C!

2008-09-14T17:53:00.000-07:00

"C" is for cookie, that's good enough for me!
"C" is for cookie, that's good enough for me!
"C" is for cookie, that's good enough for me!
Oh! Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with "C"!

The other night Sarah, Lou, and Hayley came over to make cookies. I found an a few months ago through the blog kill.the.gluten, but never wrote it down. There were many times that I dreamed of the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies that I had made from the recipe and dreamed of making them, but my google searches always left me dissatisfied. Fortunately, I was able to come across the recipe again tonight. I was so excited! Chocolate chips were no where to be found, so we made plain peanut butter cookies instead. They turned out to be delectable. I will definitely be making another batch soon!

Visiting My College As a Visitor.

2008-09-14T14:32:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I headed back to my alma mater. I got to visit with some of my friends who are still there and met up with my other friend, Jocelyn, who graduated with me. The experience overall was a lot of fun, but being back on campus when I didn't have to be there was somewhat bizarre. It's funny how ingrained certain reactions can become. I felt like one of Pavlov's dogs when I found myself feeling anxious and distressed when I entered the school's library to check my e-mail. I seriously stayed in the library for three minutes before running back to the sanctuary of my car. I think that I'm just getting used to the fact that I am no longer "trapped" within the confines of my undergraduate career and that going back to campus only weeks after I school has started up for everyone else made me subconsciously feel like I was going back. I'm sure that in time going back to campus will be a more enjoyable experience. Here are some pictures from the day:

View from the top of Sleeping Giant.

Christa (second from the left) had the great idea to take a falling picture on top of the mountain. I think that the result is quite dangerous looking.

A chariot painted on the back of someone's truck outside of the ice cream store we went to after the hike. I didn't realize until after I had taken the shot that the "someone" was sitting in his car while I took it.

Yale has 'Yale' bricks in it's walls. Who'd've thunk it?!

Jocelyn looking seriously trendy.

Photo shoot in Christine's chic studio apartment.

Sometimes It's Hard To Be a Woman... Sometimes It's Not.

2008-09-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

Tammy Wynette does make a valid point, sometimes it is hard to be a woman, but I have recently noticed that it sometimes can also be very easy... even often times enjoyable. I work in a lovely office building filled with powerful and influential business men and women. It is in this very office building that I have seen more gentlemanly behavior than ever before. I have been called 'gentlemanly' on a number of occasions by those close to me, which could be insulting seeing as I am a woman, but I prefer to take it as a compliment because I know that I appreciate when gentlemanly behavior is displayed on my behalf. Here at work I have noticed an incredible number of door holders, "Ladies first"ers, and "Pardon me"ers. I grew up with a gentleman of a father, so I tend to notice when someone goes out of his or her way in the manners department. Now, I can't tell you when door holding or "Ladies first"ing began, but I can tell you that I appreciate it. I know some women hate the whole chivalry act that is believed to coincide with acting in a gentlemanly manner, but I think that if it's taken at face value and not read into, that these expressions can be received as common courtesies and even acts of kindness.

So, yes... it's not always easy to coif one's hair or shave one's legs, but it is easy to say thank you and to pass on the courtesy that is expressed through gentlemanly behavior. The whole point of this entry isn't to put down people who refuse to open the door for others or to say, "Change your ways!", to those people who hate "acts of chivalry", but rather to say thank you. Although it may sometimes be easy to be a woman, I never want to take it for granted. So, thank you door holders! Thank you "Ladies First"ers! Thank you "Pardon me"ers! Your manners (may you be a gentleman or a gentlewoman) are appreciated on my part!

22 Scadoo!

2008-09-09T21:30:00.001-07:00

I always seem to take mental notes on things that I want to remember, but then seem to forget that my memory is not always the most reliable place to store things. In hopes of placing my observations in a more reliable (? Is the internet really that reliable? Where exactly is all the information that's on it and what if it fails us one day or worse yet, uses all of our personal information to blackmail us...) place, I am putting them here on Pass the Mustard Seed.

The observations that are freshest in my mind are, of course, those that have most currently happened to me or have had the largest impact. I really would like to remember things that I have observed and experienced in my 22nd year, and in hopes of doing so, will be memorializing them here in this September 9th post.

Here goes nothing...

Driving with little or no gas for as long as I possibly can:

As far back as I can remember, I have always procrastinated the getting of gas. I have gotten especially bad at thsi since graduating from college. Maybe it's laziness. Maybe it's a reluctance to spend what the recent graduate considers a great deal of money. Whatever the case, I have been doing this a lot lately and I'm hoping that I won't forever, so why not memorialize this habit here?

Going to concerts:

Why did it take me 22 years to do this? I really don't know, but for whatever reason there was an influx in my concert attendance in the past year. I was fortunately enough to see some artist that I really enjoy, including Matisyahu (featured in the photo), Ingrid Michaelson, and They Might Be Giants (a free concert...I left feeling musically and financially satisfied).

New Cell Phone:

I had the cell phone in this picture for a long time. I didn't mind it really...it worked well enough and it always got comments (mostly exclamations like, "The screen doesn't even have color?!"). Eventually it did stop working and it was necessary for me to upgrade. My old phone (I called her 'The Bullet' because of her bullet-like shape when closed) will remain a fond part of my technological history and I will never forget her!

You Learn Something Every Day:

I learned on an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition that a pair of sneakers hanging from telephone wires signifies that drugs are sold in the area. I took this picture on the street that I lived on during my senior year. Little did I know when this photo was taken that these shoes weren't just hanging out there for looks.

Chasing After Truth:

I have been seeking after God for going on five years. He was always right there, but I never really took the time to consider him on a deeper, more relational level. I saw the graffiti in this photo on the side of the Salvation Army earlier this year. My faith is now the foundation of my life, so it's always a big part of each year that I live. I always find that God is teaching me something. This past winter I went to a Christian conference in Boston and was there on my birthday. I learned a lot during the conference, but the point that hit home the most with me was that God is good and that He can be trusted. It sounds simple enough, but I think that I really started to believe this fact in the past year. It was one of those things that you hear about and agree with, but have to make personal before you'd go out and advocate for it.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28

I Am, Therefore I Blog:

I started a doodling blog called DoOdLe-A-dAy on which I challenge myself to draw and post, well, a doodle a day. I have to admit that I haven't been doodling and posting every day, but I have been adding to it regularly. I find it helpful to challenge myself to do things that interest me and that I may have an inkling that I can't do. I have been trying to do this a lot lately. I have always been a bit of a procrastinator and tend to start things but not finish them, so this blog is a sort of therapy for me. A procrastinator's rehabilitation, if you will.

Life List:

There is a site out there that I quit enjoy called 43 Things. The site allows you to make a list of 43 things that you'd like to do. I created my list on the site and I recommend everyone who reads this to do the same! One of my goals was to learn to play guitar. I'm not proficient yet, but I can play a pretty mean rendition of "Smelly Cat" and I had the chance to perform it during my 22nd year at an elderly home. What are some of your goals?

The TwentySomething's Conundrum

2008-09-09T21:23:00.000-07:00

I recently started wearing high heels. I have worn heels on a few occasions in the past (a strappy heeled sandal to prom or a brown pump to my high school internship at the YMCA), but I find myself wearing this species of shoe more and more since my time as a college graduate increases. During the course of the work day, I sometimes find myself taking in my heeled feet and mulling over things that I feel are important enough to write about here. I wonder when it was that I could wear high heels and get away with it without looking like a kid trying on her mother's shoes. When did I suddenly become an adult? Was it when I turned twenty-one? When I learned to take care of myself? When I graduated from college? In the past I could say defiantly that I was still a kid. I can remember being around fifteen or sixteen years old and going out to dinner alone with a group of my friends. Dinner alone! No parents, no one guiding my dining decision, no one there to pay the bill for me and figure out the tip. Even though my friends and I were doing something that seemed very adult by going out to dinner, I still felt like I was a kid playing grown up. I think I may have even said something along the lines of, "Guys, I feel so grown up!" to my friends - a clearly childlike thing to say.

It's funny, I can say with quite a bit of confidence that I still feel a lot like I did back at fifteen or sixteen today. As I get up to go to work each day it all seems temporary, like a game I am playing with my friends that will end as soon as dinner is ready. I see people around me graduating, getting jobs and some of them even getting married and I sometimes have to remind myself that this is not a game. I am an adult. What frightens me the most is that as a twentysomething, I have a "je ne sais quoi" that people value tremendously. It's youth. It's full of potential and discovery and flexibility (mentally, emotionally, AND physically). Ponce de León searched for it, women try to find it in little tubs of white cream, and I have no freaking idea what I am supposed to do with it. This is the twentysomething's conundrum, is it not? Twentysomethings have this dwindling resource in their hands and yet so many of us ask, "What should I be doing?!" Then, before we know it, youth begins to disappear in life's review mirror.

In an effort to discover just that - what it is that I should be doing as a twentysomething - I am going to be embarking on a road trip in a few weeks with my friends Lauren and Sarah. We'll be interviewing people along the way; people that we admire, people that have a story to tell, and people who have been where we are and lived to talk about it. We want to know what advice these more experienced individuals have. What can we do to tap into the power of youth? And we are powerful beyond measure. I always feel empowered when I read this quote by Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is no that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, no our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

"I Miss School..."

2008-09-02T18:25:00.001-07:00

My goodness, am I really feeling the way that I am?! Flash back to a year ago at the this time and my mind was wrapping around the glorious notion of being just months away from being done with college. Now that I'm on the other side of things as a college graduate, I am missing school more than I could have ever imagined. I enjoyed the classes and being away from home, but I think what I miss the most is the companionship that college provided. I definitely have some great friends back at home, but living at home with my parents and only seeing my friends a few times a week is taking a toll on me. I love my parents so much and we have a lot of fun together, but living with them is DEFINITELY different than living with people my age. I think that the fact that college is truly over is just sinking in now that the new school year is up and running. The transition into the "real world" was initially frightening. I kept my mind busy with my summer internship and seeing friends that I hadn't seen in a while, but now that the summer is winding down it feels almost wrong to not being going back to the world of academia. I'm not sure how so many recent grads before me managed this transition. I guess the important thing is that they did. I just get so scared sometimes that I will never have as much fun again in my life as I did in the past four years. Then I reason with myself that of course this isn't true and then find myself rebutting to my former argument, and this vicious cycle takes place within my mind. I just want to be goofy again and stay up until 3am making forts or videos or going on random adventures just for the sake of going on random adventures. I think that I'm simply not ready to make the commitment to "adulthood" in the way that I perceive it. Maybe I can be like Peter Pan or Robin Williams: both stars in Hook and both children at heart...minus the starring in Hook part (though it would have been awesome to play Tinker Bell).

"My Muffin Tastes Like Bacon" & Other Random Observations From The Week

2008-07-17T06:12:00.000-07:00

This week was a good week! This week was grand!

This week I searched for adventure across this great big land.

Monday:

It's only Friday and I am already having a difficult time remembering what I did... I went to work (I know that because I filled in hours for the day on my time sheet) but what followed work is a blur to me. Ah! I watched Definitely, Maybe with my mom and ate a delicious chicken wrap.

Observation(s) from the day: I am in the (looooong) process of painting my room and I still can't decide on the final color scheme. I have noticed that I no longer just watch movies for their plot. I now watch movies in hopes to getting inspired by the wall colors in each scene. Definitely, Maybe had a few walls that greatly appealed to me. I am definitely going to be painting my walls yellow...maybe (homage to the movie title. I hope someone got that.)

Tuesday:

Tuesday was a lot of fun! I went to work again (as I did every day this week) and got to "do lunch" with the wonderful people in my department. I also got offered a job after my internship ends! (I'm interning for the summer in the creative department of a company and I get to use a Mac all day which could be dangerous because there are so many fun things to do on it...) After work went to a FREE comedy show in a park. I was accompanied by some great friends and some really outstanding food made by them. Here's an example of one of the very distracting and amusing tools that the Mac offers:

Observation(s) from the day: I like Australian accents. One of the comedians had one and hearing him speak was a great pleasure to my ears.

Wednesday:

In keeping with the hopes of saving money by attending free events in the area, I spent Wednesday evening taking in the sounds of the local pops concert. I saw someone dressed liked Princess Leia at the beginning of the show and spent the rest of the show trying to understand why she was there. I also uploaded pictures at work today for an Olympics event that we had. I found one picture particularly humorous and I actually laughed out loud when I saw it. It's of my team playing Nintendo Wii. Everyone is smiling and watching the game in a normal manner and then there is me...I have my head tilted back and look like someone has just told me the most hilarious story that I have ever heard. It was bizarre to me. I wish that I could go back to that moment and understand what I was doing. See if you can pick me out:

Observation(s) from the day: It's wonderful to make new friends and reconnect with old ones. I went to the concert with a girl named Lily whom I went to high school with. We were never very close during high school, but hanging out with her now was so much fun. I have noticed that it is so much easier to talk to people from high school now than it was when we were actually still in high school. Maybe the lines between clicks have blurred or don't exist at all anymore. Whatever it is, I like it.

Thursday:

Free event! Free event! I got to see Eve6 (Ah!) in concert for free on Thursday night! Such a great time! I also ran into a few people from high school, which is always equal parts exciting and awkward. Afterwards, my friend Hayley and I headed over to this awesome restaurant/jazz lounge in town and listened to some more FREE music. We also saw a free example of Brazilian dance-fighting called Capoeira. There is just nothing like free stuff.

Observation(s) from the day: I love free events! I also noticed that the city that these free events were in is beginning to flourish culturally and artistically. I am extremely excited by this because it makes being home from college (where there were free events pretty much all of the time) that much easier on my wallet. The dance-fighting that we saw was also pretty hardcore/amazing.

Friday:

Well, today is Friday and the evening's events are yet to be written. I accepted the job offer :-)

Observation(s) from the day (thus far): Everyone at work is really great!

Radio In My Head...

2008-02-27T23:18:00.001-08:00

A few songs that have caught my ear in the past few weeks:

"The Underdog" by
by Five Iron Frenzy

...okay, those are all of the single word song titles or band names that can be translated into picture that I can think of at the moment...

"New Soul" by Yael Naim

"Rock Upon a Porch With You" by The Boy Least Likely To

"July, July!" by The Decemberists

"Send Me On My Way" by Rusted Roots

"All I Want Is You" by Barry Louis Polisar

"Hotel Song" by Regina Spektor (please note...the kid in this video is NOT Regina Spektor...as much as he might want us to call him that-check out 2:20)

"Birdhouse In Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants

"See You Again" by Miley Cyrus (...a guilty pleasure...)

"She Moves In Her Own Way" by The Kooks

I'm aware that not all of these songs can be considered "new", but on the radio in my head, they are always funky fresh. That's all for now, but rest assured that there are many more....playlists full of music that I am currently enjoying. If you have time, check out these songs!

Interpretive Dance-A New Life Goal

2008-02-13T12:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I listened to a sermon on life goals and it got me thinking about what goals I have for my own life. I have a list on 43 Things, a place where you can create a list of 43 goals and talk to other people with similar goals and get encouragement and advice from people who have completed their goals. I am always looking for things to add to my list of life goals and today I found something: I would like to perform the interpretive dance performed in the music video for Fatboy Slim's song "Praise You". Check it out...

If you'd like to be a part of making this goal a reality please let me know. I'm waiting.

The Unspoken Rules of the Women's Bathroom

2008-02-08T17:14:00.000-08:00

I know it seems strange, but I have compiled a list of unspoken rules that exist within the walls of womens' bathrooms. This list is based on my own personal experience as a user and visitor of womens' bathrooms as well as a general consensus I have come to on the matter through various conversations with other women like myself. For all the women who may read this list, please feel free to comment with additional rules you may think should be on the list or let me know if you think one or all of the rules are total bologna. For those men who may be reading this, I hope that you find this list somewhat informative and interesting. Here's how the whole idea for the list came to be...

The other day while minding my own business in the women's bathroom a women...we'll call her Betsy...loudly entered the bathroom on her cell phone. She proceeded to enter a stall while STILL ON THE PHONE and take a seat. While washing my hands I overheard her say something along the lines of, "I was holding that forever". I had to quickly leave the bathroom for fear of breaking the otherwise silent bathroom's serenity with my laughter.

After leaving I was fortunate enough to have plans to play ping pong with my good friend Carl. I say "fortunate" because Carl is usually one of the people that I am the most excited to tell a story like this to so the fact that I would get to tell him it while it was still very, very, very fresh in my mind was exciting. Anyway, my telling him lead to an entire conversation on the unspoken rules of the women's bathroom. I was sad and a bit relieved to hear that the rules for the men's bathroom were much shorter than the rules for the women's bathroom seeing as none really even existed according to Carl. So, without further ado, here is the list of women's bathroom rules that I complied...Enjoy!

THE UNSPOKEN RULES OF THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM:

1.) If a bathroom is empty you may enter any stall at your own discretion.

2.) If you enter a bathroom and one stall is full do not, if bathroom size and stall count allows, enter the stall directly next to the stall in use on either side.

3.) If you enter a bathroom and two stalls are occupied you may choose to enter a stall next to either occupied stall, but if bathroom size and stall count allows it is still best to pick a stall that is not directly next to either stall in use.

4.) It is okay to remain completely silent while washing your hands and/or standing in line for the bathroom, but small talk is also acceptable in both situations.

5.) If you enter a stall around the same time as another person and you are the only two women in the bathroom it is acceptable to cough lightly or make some sound with the toilet paper roll holder. I do not recommend humming...I know this from personal experience.

6.) If there are no paper towels or hand dryers available for drying your hands it is acceptable to shake your hands over the trash or sink or general floor area and let out a small sigh.

7.) If the only means of drying your hands is a hand dryer it is best to limit your hand drying time to under thirty seconds if someone else is waiting to use the hand dryer. If no one else is waiting this is probably as long as you will want to wait too since those things never really seem to work. Pants are usually your best means of drying in this circumstance.
NOTE: By all means DO NOT use toilet paper. The results are less than enjoyable.

8.) If you in a busy bathroom and need to use the mirror for personal grooming it is best to stand between two sinks. This will help prevent glares from other women in your direction which you will most likely catch in the mirror and the occasional mumbled expletive.

9.) If you have traveled to the women's bathroom with a group of friends (a frequent occurrence) you should wait for all of your friends before heading back to whichever location you may have come from. It is acceptable to either wait in the bathroom for all of your friends or outside the bathroom.

10.) Finally, do not make small talk with people in the stalls next to or close to you unless they are someone you know who is comfortable with doing so or your small talk is in regards to toilet paper.

A final thing to remember: If you are at a sink washing your hands and have recently left a stall in the women's bathroom open and ready to be used and there is a line of women waiting for the bathroom, do not be offended if the next women in line goes to another stall than the one you have recently left open. This woman may just be following rules 2 or 3 of the list.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope that it has been informative and amusing...and hopefully truthful. Let me know what you think. I love comments eventhough I don't usually get them. Want to change that? Leave me one!!

Dream On!

2007-12-16T20:35:00.000-08:00

It's not everyday that I am inspired to blog. It takes something striking that I experience or see to make me want to blog. It also takes something that I think is worth sharing with the masses (okay, maybe not the masses...). Today I would like to discuss dreams... No, not the ones Freud analyzed... I'm talking the fourth definition of the noun dream in Webster's Dictionary: a strongly desired goal or purpose dream of becoming president> b: something that fully satisfies a wish dream>.

My thoughts about dreams have been more frequent over the past year or so. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the "real world" is at a closer reach than ever before with graduation just months away. Whatever the reason, I have been thinking a lot about my own dreams lately. What made me take the step over the edge into blogging about dreams was watching "Working Girl", a 80's movie about a young secretary who has a dream of becoming something greater and finds her way up to the top in the business world complete with teased hair and shoulder pads and then watching "The Pursuit of Happiness" tonight. Some time last year when all this "dreamy thinking" began I started a 43 Things online. 43 Things is this great website where you can create an account and list 43 Things that you want to accomplish. You can check off what you have done and write about it, share stories with other people who share you goals, and cheer others goals and have your goals cheered. I highly recommend making a 43 Things to all those in need of tangibly seeing their goals and being able to keep track of them. I know that I am a visual person, so having my goals/dreams in a place where I can read them keeps me motivated to pursue them.

I think that it's so awesome that God gives us the ability to dream and gives us many of the dreams we have. As human beings, we're so unique in this world because of our dreams. They help to make us who we are and make us so unique. Because of this I think that the best way to work out our dreams is to acknowledge that we are created to dream and discuss our dreams with the one who created us. With dreaming in mind, here are a few dreams I have for my final semester of college...some of them are serious...most of them, not so much:

1.) Today I found one of my mom's old dresses in the attic. It's black with rhinestone straps. I really like it and I want to wear it somewhere before the end of next semester.
2.) I am trying to learn guitar. I have mastered one song so far, "Smelly Cat" from Friends. I would like to learn a song that is a little more challenging and perform it in a public place before I graduate.
3.) Knit ten caps for ten people. Today my friend Sarah W. sent me a website about how to knit caps. I started my first one tonight and if it goes well I would like to knit nine more (or more) before the end of the semester. I might even try my hand at selling a few!
4.) For my final project in cartooning class this semester (yes, I really took a class in cartooning...) I decided to make a line of greeting cards. Over the summer I met a woman who owns a gift shop in my town and talked with her about selling greeting cards at her shop. She said she'd love to see my work. At the time I didn't really have any, but now I do and I would love to sell what I have created at her shop and someday start up my own greeting card line...but for now, I'll stick with selling the greeting cards that I have made so far at her shop before the end of the school year.
5.) Read my Bible every day. I just don't read it as much as I'd like, so I want to challenge myself to do so every day. I know that when I do I feel a lot better and understand what exactly I'm doing here so much more.
6.) Go dancing because I now know how (somewhat) thanks to my ballroom dancing class!
7.) Make a music video. I've always wanted to, so why not now?
8.) I want to find a job...because I have to. I want to find a job that I'm passionate about and that gets me excited to go to every day. I'd love for it to have something to do with my major, because that's probably a good idea seeing as I've spent the last four years learning about graphic design related things, but I'd also like for it to be fun and for it to challenge me creatively.
9.) Since I have become more interested in music during my time in college, especially during my senior year, I would like to create a CD with my favorite songs from the year. I think this will be something that I'll play when I'm 40 and think, "Wow... wow." or something along those lines.
10.) Take a picture every day in 2008, put it on a blog, and write about why, where, and when I took it.

Well, I hope this blog post got you dreaming... or at least thinking about dreams. As Hall & Oates says..."I'm down on the daydream"... I hope that after reading this, you are a little bit more down on the daydream too.

Crazy Kids.

2007-12-05T19:24:00.000-08:00

Today: A day that will live in infamy....
...at least for me.

Although I'm not normally one to admit it, I am a legal, no holds barred adult. In a few weeks it will be a full year that I have been this way. While most of young America cannot wait for the big 2-1, my 21st was not much different than any other birthday...except that I spent most of it on a plane home from Spain, but that's a different story... Anyway, the reason why today is a day that I feel is noteworthy and worth blogging about for my own records is because today is the day that I realized that I'm no longer a kid.
I started thinking about this on my way to babysitting this afternoon. I had just come from a class that always makes me think, so still being in that state of mind, I was thinking a lot...about my car, about winter break, and then I saw a skateboarding kid in the middle of the road...a very busy road, might I add. This got me to thinking about how kids always seem to do what they want, even if it's dangerous or not very thought out. This thought started me thinking about the things like this that I used to do when I was (according to my age) a kid. I can remember being told not to do things by adults and in return thinking that adults were not very fun at times and overall pretty boring. Like jumping on pillows...who didn't/doesn't love doing that??? But adults always seemed to think that jumping on a pillow in the living room would break the china in the kitchen or something... THEN I realized that the fact that I was thinking about my childhood had to mean something... that something being that because I was reflecting on my childhood and what I used to do, I must no longer be a child. In that moment I stood at a crossroad... childhood down one way and adulthood down the other. Now, if I saw adults as being no fun and kind of boring as a kid, what was that saying about me as an adult? Am I no fun? Am I boring? In order to answer this question I started making mental notes about what it was that I saw adults doing as a kid that I really didn't like. Here are a few of them:

1.) Pretending to laugh. Who does this? I have...I try not too that much, but I have and I'm not proud of it! The only adults who I can really remember being able to pin as fake laughers were my mom and dad because I was around them the most as a kid and heard all their various forms of laughter over many holiday gatherings and time spent at the playground with them. I vow here and now to not be a fake laugher... because kids never are. If it's funny, they laugh... if it's not, they don't. Simple as pie. Forget what's polite... Forget whats socially acceptable... Kids are real.
2.) Worrying too much. My roommate Sarah pointed this out to me when I was talking to her tonight. It's so true though... I can remember hearing my mom tell me about the things that she was worried about and feeling so helpless because all I could do was tell her that it was going to be alright. This worrying was over big things, but also little things... like cleaning up for company. Who cares if the corner hutch is dusted?? We're about to eat meatballs and pasta... no one will be looking up there anyway... I'm not saying that I have something against dusting (although my room doesn't always reflect this), but I am saying that worrying doesn't help anything. Kids are so good at just accepting things the way that they are and finding a way to work with them... or crying about it and then accepting it. Kids are also so great at always seeing things positively. I can't ever remember telling a worried adult that things wouldn't work out... I just never knew that side of things... except when it came to possibly not getting that Baby Born I wanted for Christmas.
3.) Forgetting to have fun. Maybe it's due to changing so many diapers or migraines or hot flashes, but for whatever reason I can recall being somewhere, most likely twirling, skipping or dancing, and wanting an adult to join in only to have my offer turned down. In my opinion there are no wrong places to twirl, skip or dance. In fact, I think there isn't enough twirling, skipping and dancing in the world. In fact, I'm dancing now! Okay... okay... I'm not... I'm an adult, remember? (But that won't stopping from dancing in front of the mirror later)... I'm not saying that adults never have fun. My dad is one of the biggest kids I know and he's always making things fun whether it's putting a bed pan on his head when my mom was in the hospital or dancing around the kitchen... but, I'm just saying that there are a lot of adults that I can remember seeing and who I still see who refuse to play along with their kids or be silly. I don't want to be this way.
4.) Losing sight of the adventure. I'm a strong believer in adventure. Whether it's a trip to a place I have never been before or an adventurous journey to the frozen foods aisle in the grocery store, I'm all about the adventure. I love making things fun and memorable, even when they are stupid or seem bad... Although I prefer not to, I like getting lost and finding my way with friends. I can remember taking a trip to White Plains, NY with my friend Lou and getting totally lost. This had to be at least five years ago now and we still talk about it. The thing I used to really dislike about some adults was the way that little calamities, such as getting lost, were always blown up into these big catastrophes that were yelled about and angrily handled as if they had no solution. Something that makes me laugh is remembering a phrase the my mom uses so well. Whenever one of these adventures would come up she would always tastefully say "f***ing shit" in a voice that I have never heard duplicated until this day. She still uses this phrase and it always makes me smile even though I know she is sometimes really upset... She always finds a way to laugh at herself about the way she reacts to things like this later, which makes her an adult that I look up to for finding the adventure in things that may seem sort of terrible at the time. The adults who I am referring to who have lost sight of the adventure are the ones who get so worked up about little things that they themselves feel that the world itself will end and as a result make everyone around them uneasy. I would much rather act like a kid in these sorts of situations and take the situation seriously, but make the situation fun at the same time... and maybe even take a few pictures along the way...
5.) Having such little faith. Maybe it was the whole Santa Claus thing that did them in, but for whatever reason adults seem to lack the faith that children have. I'm not saying that there aren't any faithful adults out there, but for the most part from what I know and now being on the other side of things (I gave up on the Santa thing when I was 14... I had some attachment issues...) adults are pretty skeptical about things. Now, there is nothing wrong with asking questions... I think the right to ask questions is one of the greatest rights that we have as human beings... but what I'm talking about is the way that adults have such a hard time believing things even when the evidence is there right in front of them. There is always that second notion of whatever the something is that you are trying to believe in being a scam or something. I am guilty of being suspicious of things in my life. Maybe adults have just been burned one too many times... or maybe kids are just sheltered from all the hurt that comes from being burned... But still, I think that there is a lot of good in the world... as much as there is bad...or more, but so much focus gets put on the bad (news anyone?). I say, take a step out on a limb... Take that leap of faith and believe in something that you haven't dared to before. I have and I couldn't be happier.

Well, that's all I have for now. I don't know who actually reads this blog, but if there are people out there who do, I would love to hear your feedback and see what you think about all this... and please no that regardless of what my age may say, I will always be a kid at heart and I hope that you will too :-D

Things We Lost in the Dryer

2007-11-28T14:43:00.000-08:00

So, it's been a long time since my last post...and as long times usually go...a lot has happened since then! In an effort to keep this post short, yet insightful, I have decided to highlight the top five happenings since last I posted on Pass the Mustard Seed.

Here goes nothing...

5.) I have learned that if you're going to get a flat tire, you should get one while in the presence of my friend Christine. Not only is Christine encouraging in any situation, she is also a Physical Therapy student. My tire went flat on Mt. Carmel Avenue, a scenic road which always seems to bug just narrow enough to keep me driving under 45 mph (probably a good thing) and just wide enough that on early mornings I can pretend that I'm driving in the countryside (this in on days that I see geese and/or the horse that resides in the back of one of the houses on the street). Anyway...my tire went flat and I could have called AAA, but Christine and I like an adventure so we wanted to do it ourselves...AND Christine was so encouraging the whole time! She didn't complain once, even though it was raining and windy...and she reminded me to keep my back straight.

4.) I have become a Venti-sized Office fan. The show is just so good!

3.) I cut my hair...at a barber shop...and now have bangs.

2.) I learned to pearl and am now making a ribbed scarf!

1.) I have developed an eclectic taste in music! I know, I know...don't people normally do that before their senior year of college? Well, yes...yes they do, but up until this year I never really had as burning an interest in music as I do now. My cousin told me about a website called The Hype Machine where I find out about a lot of new music...I highly recommend it. Some of my latest favorites are: Ingrid Michaelson, Regina Spektor, Sondre Lerche, MIKA, Nellie McKay, Iron & Wine, Travis, and Feist...to name a few. Heard of them? Let's talk! Haven't heard of them, check them out! They're goooood!

This happened.

2007-10-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

So, it is a somewhat widely unknown fact that during high school I went through a few phases. There was the toe sock phase, which entailed my wearing toe socks (which were usually rainbow colored) with capri pants and sandals. Then there was the driving around aimlessly phase from Stamford, CT to Portchester, NY (a total drive of fifteen minutes) and then back...and then back again. I mustn't forget the prank phase complete with Marilyn Monroe wig, tiny hand-shaped back scratcher and made up languages. There were many more...too many and too inconsequential to to name here, but I will mention one more: the walking home from school phase.

I know that you're all on the edge of your seats about this one, so I won't keep you waiting any longer. This phase included, oddly enough, me walking home from school. I know, you wouldn't have guessed that in a thousand years... The reason why I'm mentioning all this is because of a certain occurrence that happened today which reminded me of those good old days of walking home from school.

You see, during a handful of those walks home, for no apparent reason, I found an assortment of playing cards. Now, I may be a little out of the loop on the latest beats that the kids are listening too and who's dating who in Hollywood, but I'm pretty sure that there was never a major outflow of sidewalk card players. Even so, there seemed to always be a card to pick up whenever I chose to walk home, which seeing as it was my "walking home from school phase", was quite often.

So get this, today I got to thinking about those good old days of walking home from school and collecting playing cards and thought, while walking by the library today, that it would be great to find a playing card one of these days so that I could write in my new blog about it. The thought passed and I continued on with my day...Then tonight at precisely 11:25pm my roommate, Sarah B., text messaged me with, "Hey will u be up in 15 min? I found something on the street for u lol!" I know you all know what it was by now...a braughtworst...well you're right! Just joking... YES!! She found playing cards...and we're not just one standard Bicycle brand card...we're talking a nearly complete deck of smiley faced, candy corn shaped playing cards!! What are the odds...seriously. Today I think of walking home which makes me think of the cards I used to find and how I'd like to blog about finding a playing card while walking today and then POOF! Sarah B. shows up with a deck of cards in her hands that she found not on a table...not in the mouth of a dog...but ON THE STREET. I know, it's crazy...but the Lord works in mysterious smiley faced, candy corn shaped card-finding ways!

WHY?!

2007-10-02T21:38:00.000-07:00

Today I stumbled across this sneaker while doing something that I do quite often-browsing google's image library. It got me thinking about my own shoes and their lack of music. I guess it would be a good way to get moving and I could see it taking the place of the 90's boom-box-on-the-shoulder craze (which, in my mind was the cause of a number of cases of scoliosis) but besides all that it seems a little extreme.

Cucumber

2007-09-30T22:31:00.000-07:00

I just thought I'd document this large cucumber I got from the QU cafeteria.

Dude, Where's My Mac?

2007-05-08T16:02:00.000-07:00

Today I had no finals, which should mean that I'm happy...well, I was...until right now. You see, the Macintosh computers at QU are a crucial part of the Interactive Digital Design curriculum... In order to do homework I pretty much need a Macintosh. Unfortunately, they seem to run scarce on our campus, especially during finals week. I was happily using one earlier today in our school's Mac lab until I was told to leave by a professor who had a final class coming in. This is understandable seeing as the final class needed to render their final projects (a term which here means sit and watch while the computer processes information for sometimes hours at a time). I was fine with that-it allowed me a break for dinner and some time for the swelling, that I'm sure was occurring in my head due to excessive exposure to the program Flash, to go down. What triggered my mood to go from <:-) to something more along the lines of >:-( was the fact that when I came back to the library to look for open computers there were none and when I went to the lab nearly an hour after leaving it originally, I found several open computers and a locked door with the class still inside! It wasn't the fact that the there were empty computers in the classroom that made me angry as it was that the door was locked so I couldn't even ask the professor when he would be done!

Okay, enough of that rant...One thing I really like about blogging is that it kind of puts things in perspective. Here I am feeling annoyed and frustrated, but then I write down how I'm feeling this way and realize that things that seem to really matter don't as much when they're in writing next to an angry bean cartoon wearing a hat that was probably borrowed from Frank Sinatra.

Besides all these negative vibes (dudddee...) I would like to comment on how nice a day it was! There's so much to be thankful for-the beautiful weather, friends and family, chocolate milk, and of course laughter...I think I should write for Hallmark. I hope all of you out there in blog land are doing well. I'll catch ya later.

Blogger Happy

2007-05-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

I've never had my very own, personal, 'this is what I did today...' blog, but I figured that since I am embarking into the summer where I'm hoping to have some noteworthy experiences and since it's the Monday of finals week at 11:something PM and I don't have any finals tomorrow, it's probably in my best interest to create a blog! I have kept diaries and journals (the grown-up diary) before, but frankly, it's still a little strange to write down today's happenings in virtual form...if I could have made 'virtual form' all squiggly I definitely would have!

Today was a nice day for a few reasons. The first reason is that I got to watch two movies with my roommate who is graduating this year! We've been roommates for three years now and it's going to be weird to not have her there in the morning to tell about the dream I had with the dancing waffles or to be able to walk to the cafeteria with her for lunch. Today was also enjoyable because of the beautiful weather and of course, a wonderful turkey sandwich I got for lunch (we just got new turkey at our school and I couldn't be happier about it) Well that's all for my first post. I'm sure that you were absolutely on the edge of your seat reading that one... Talk to you soon. Is that what I say?

P.S. The picture of those older folks represent how excited I am about having this new blog!